Death to the Gossip Whores!!!!

if u could u knw u would.....

2007-02-01T01:07:00.000-05:00

i know it, u cant deny that chemistry.it might seem like a freindship. but its one freindship i don't get. if the room faded and the people around u were gone would u have noticed? i probably faded along with everyone else. it seemed like i was a spectator to a date. like i was watching somone on one of those dating games from my own couch at home. it was like our first date. it was like my many first dates ive been on. you know u would deny it till u were red in the face but if u had the opportunity, and if she was into u and would have given u a chance before there ever was a me and u, u know u would go for it. u wouldnt care it's ur freind's sister u would have gone for it. it's not something that u can deny. u could see it from a mile away. and it's not just because im jealous of ur relationship. it cant be just about that because i know wat i see and i know how u are and how u get, and it sucks because that used to be me. do u ever get excited like that for me anymore? do i still give u butterflies in ur stomach? because u do to me.
and i stll get excited to see u.
theres just no denying it. i know wat i saw. that is not ur freindship with ur freinds sister.....thats a longtime crush uve never gotten over. and i hate u for denying it.

letters to stash

2007-01-26T10:52:00.000-05:00

recap: i hold you up to get some visine to which you respond by snapping at me to which i respond ok y r u freaking out to which you respond with short sharp gestures of disregard and annoyance. i push the table away and walk upstairs. i come back down after 5 minutes and tell you im leaving to which you respond ur not going to stay for the end to which i respond how much longer is the end, "about a hlf hour" was the response. to which i replied no so you say as i'm walking upstairs "wait i'll walk you out" and i've already assembled myself to leave and i'm out the door when you come after me and ask me where i'm parked and i answer "veterans" "should i walk you?" "watever you want" "why aren't you waiting till the end?" "because you gave me an attitude" you respond by making an annoyed gesture and assemble yourself to walk me to the car. in the car you say "i can't beleive you wait a half hour" "well i was gonna go but i was gonna stay for you but since you made me uncomfortable and embarressed me infront of your freind i don't want to stay." "noone even noticed " "what about mal?" "no no im not gonna lose my temper over this, i'm not gonna miss teh end" and you opened the door jumped out and slammed the car door behind you. i screeched teh tires from under me and sped off.

i would have expected a little bit more from you, but i'm such a fool and i'm stupid for thinking that. to expect a call or even a text message after the movie was over was beyond you. i was tsupid for thinking that you actually would have liked for me to stay by you and have wednesday night and thursday to us. but you shattered my heart when you called an all day marathon for your freinds (but would have still wanted me to stay for thursday but just till 12:00) then it would have been me you and your freinds. you shattered my heart when you called a night to bake "special" cookies with your freinds. i should have never listened to you and actually believed wat u sold. they were just empty promises. how you have managed to push me and push me and i keep it down and locked away but my jar is to the point of combustion and i don't know how long it can last.
i imagine you actually reading this and i can just see your face, how it's filled with disgust and astonishment, just like how it is when i tell you how i feel about a certain situation and you just brush it off, you brush me off and you brush my feelings off. you would probably think to yourself how my view of you is so clouded and wrong and how these rambling are just lunatic ramblings. thats just wat i am to u, its ur word, its ur word to describe me. "crazy". along with "retarted". all fairness to u ur not always liek this i know. u don't always treat me badly but sometimes ic an't help but be surrounded by this negativity. if i keep it concealed, y r u not telling me what ur thnking, if i tell u then "wats wrong with u"and you brush it off and cut me off and i never can fully explain myslef. words get twisted, my mind is clouded and my heart has been stabbed by a thousand needles.
the way you left last night, i was in absolute shock. i know i pissed u off but i think i deserve a little bit more than a disrespectful slamming of a car door on my face. i've never been more angrier at u in my life.
how could u? if i ever did that to u? i don't even know wat kind of reaction to expect.

honestly, what did u expect me to do? sit there in b/w u and ur freond who was passed out and sit and sulk in my own pool of angera s you watched your beloved movie on the tv while i just get heated and heated and the outcome would have been worse, but no matter what i would have done i would have come out wrong. no matter wat, if i stayed i would have been a bitch if i left i would have been a bitch.when do i ever win? but its not a matter of winning or losing, right? when can i come out ok? when i dont care about anythign and when i'm numb and you can say anythign you want? do whatever you want? i'll be there when you want. when u call and never say naye or otherwise. is that what you wnat? somoene that never has an opinion of their own. someone who never opposes you? and if they do, you will make sure they see it your way?
i can never feel for myself unless its affection for you. i can never think unless its positive about u. is that how it is and how u like it or is it just me being "crazy"? i guess its good that u cant read this because i would ahve never wanted to hear ur reaction to this. because it would be so humiliating and slef destructive if you ever looked down at mewith such disgust ans disdain like so many times before.only it would be worse because this is the ultimate letter to u these are things i can never tell u dfor such sed reasons.

2006-11-12T15:26:00.000-05:00

David Bowie- "Ziggy stardust"
The Beatles-" Come Together"
Imonster-"Daydream in Bue"
AC/DC- "Back In Black"
Jet- "Are You Gonna Be My Girl"
The Kinks-"You Really Got Me"
The Rolling Stones-"Shattered"
The Clash- " Should I Stay Or Should I go"
Blondie- "One Way Or Another"
Men, Women and Children- " Dance is in my Blood"
Imonster- "Hey Mrs. (Glamour Puss Mix)
Bloc Party- " Banquet"
The Arcade Fire-"Neighborhood #3"
We Are Scientists- "Its aHit"
The White Stripes- "Blue Orchid"
Spoon- "They Never Got You"
The Sounds- "Song With A Mission"
She Wants Revenge- "these things"
Kings Of Leon- "The Bucket"
NIN- "Closer"
David Bowie-"Suffragette City"
Gangoffour- "Natural's Not Rakes"
Kasabian- "Shoot the Runner"
The Strokes- "Reptilia"
Jimmy Hendrix- "Fire"
Tom Petty- "American Girl"
Nena- "99 Red Balloons"
The Ramones- "I want to be Sedated"
Imonster- "Somethings Coming"
Depeche Mode- "John The Revelator"
Jet- "Cold Hard Bitch"
DFA1979- "Little Girl"
22-20's- "Im the One"
The Go! Team- "Huddle Formation"
T.V. on the Radio- Wolf Like Me"
Simian Mobile Disco- "Hustler"
Uffie- "Hotchick In Charge"
Datarock-"FaFaFa"
The Killers- "All these things that i've done"
The Rapture- "Got to get myself into it"
Scissor sister- "i don't feel like dancing"
Ladytron- Destroy Everything"
Fischerspooner- "emerge"

This is just not doing it for me!!!!

2006-11-12T15:24:00.000-05:00

I need indie freinds that dont do coke, crack or heroin.....that is all!!!!

Ode to a guy!!!!

2006-11-03T01:18:00.000-05:00

I know your probably thinking already this is so gay and that you feel gay just by reading this e-mail because its kind of cheesy but dammit, im gonna win you over with my charm.
Anyways i know you werent up for talking about this before but i was thinking about wat i sed when i told you that to replenish you need to remember what we liked about each other in the first place and then i started thinking about those first couple of months that we were together.And i started thinking about the stupid little things that meant so much. I remember the night i met you so clearly (mind you my memory gets hazy as time goes by but not this) i remember standing outside of the club hanging out talking to Paullette and a bunch of you came to talk to us and we were just standing there chatting with me and my tank top and just gloves on, and i remember how you thought that was the stupidest thing ever but u liked it. i dont know about you but i had this little feeling of excitement like when you hit it off really well with someone and you just want to stay in that moment and freeze it. I remember you guys were soo drunka dn were looking for an afterparty to go to (Bar12) and u told me and paullette to come and i was honestly considering it because i wanted to hook up with you so bad but when i turned around you were gone and i thought i wouldnt hear from you just like so many guys have done before. and a week later u invite me out to what is now considered our first date. I remember thinking we have things in common our convos r not shallow and materialistic, tehyr random, funny and political and theres some sexual tension and how awesome it was that someone is telling me to come out to williamsburg, somewhere where ive been wanting to go out in for a long time. You thought it was so cool of me to come without knowing anyone to come and hangout. I was getting antsy in anticipation waiting for you to kiss me all night because i wanted you to so bad and when we were on the dance floor we were talking so closely and i really ddnt think it would happen right then and there because i ddnt really want to kiss you on the dancefloor because i was so shy but then we found that little dark corner by the bar and we continued to make out.That was awesome. Or Like the time where it was raining and it might have been our second date or something and it was still awkward for you tocome upstairs to talk to my parents so you waited by my door with an umbrella so i wouldnt get wet. Or when i was shocked that no matter what you never missed an oppurtunity to open the car door for me, and you promised me that you would never stop doing it for me as long as u can ...and from there on i promised myself i would never forget to thank you for doing that because its been 11 months and till this day i am gratefull for it. There was also the time when we barely knew each other for 2 weeks and you called me from israel and i underestimated you because i thought it was a good couple of weeks and i probably wouldnt hear from you again when u get back from israel and sure enough you called me not once but twice. I remember the night you asked me out, it was the first night u came back from israel and we went to go see munich and it was raelly late and u wanted to go get some tea but tea lounge was closed and the only thing open was Ammonia so we go there and i would have never expected for wat u were about to do because even though we were dating for a month i thought u were young and you ddnt want to be committed so i was just waiting for the falling out to hit any day when you started saying how much you missed me in israel and that you wanted to be official with me. i was speechless and extatic. I remember the first night i got upset at you, we were at barcade and i was nervous that u got with a girl in utah but ddnt want to tell me so eli was joking around playing along and i had that whole psychelogical theory that bec he sed that, its like he was trying to get me to think that you ddnt but u really did and i told you that and u just laughed and laughed at me and reassured me that you liked me too much to do that. Also the time where i had a 107 fever and felt like utter crap and you had invited me to go to a bar with u and elie ,you had no idea how sick i was, but i wasnt gonna stay home, i wanted to hang out with you so i had to trick my mom into believing that i was feeling better so i could go and i did and i had a great time, and i think i might have gotten you sick too, or when u thought u gave me bronchitis. I remember when i was sitting at home completely out of it and totally exhausted from school and i was all disheveled when i get a knock at my door and i go to open it thinking that its the moozardinya from downstairs annoying me about some shit or other and to my shock and horror your standing there with a coldplay ticket telling me to hurry my ass up because we were gonna miss the show, you didnt stop trying to get in touch with me to get me to come,ive never been happier in my entire life.
There were the times when we first started going out to clubs together. At 58 i remember getting all annoyed at you bec u were so hammered and you would be all frisky with me, even though i told you to stop, now i regret it bec i kind of miss that, you couldnt keep your hands off me and now that i think about it was very cute( and im sorry i ever told you to stop) I remember the night that you told me you loved me, we were lying on your couch and i was lying on top of you and we were just talking about stuff and wat you liked about me and wat i liekd about u when you said "i think im falling in love with you...." and once again you caught me off gaurd and made methe happiest ive ever been. And i knew i felt the same. It was that night we had sex for the first time....and you were so relieved but yet u still wanted to make sure it was all my decision and that i wasnt being pressured, even though u wanted to have sex from day 1. i remember we had that scare and throughout that whole time you were by my side no matter wat, u never left me.
What i needed was a little nostalgia and i guess i had to share it with someone, so naturally it had to be with u. Sometimes in order to keep going, you have to look at the past. I guess thats wat i needed , a reminding of why i love you so much and y after all this time im still with you. You make me laugh, you make me feel sexy, you make me blush,your my best freind and the only person who really knows me, i can talk to you about anything, ur always there for me, your the funnest person i knw (except when ur lazy and u dnt want to do anything) your my drinking buddy and my movie partner, your the only person i really truly ever want to be with and Im sorry i ever doubted you or us and im sorry 4 every time i ever got mad at u for no apparent reason.

2006-06-29T21:30:00.000-04:00

when i started this blog its main purpose for me was to vent. to find someone out there that believes in the same things i believe in and was filled with rants rather than raves...but i progressed into entries that were somewhat more fun-filled and happy go-lucky....except for that one time. and in that process i promised myself that i wouldnt bore readers with my agonizing phsyche. then time went by and realized that it shouldnt really matter because nobody reads this anyways. i mean i am a miniscule blogger in this vast blogoshpere. i read others' blogs and think howd they get to be that big.what r they doing right and wat am i doing wrong? i mean i could tell my freinds about this blog but then that would defeat the purpose of having a blog. how could i rant about them when i know they would eventually read it. ive lost direction, motivation, desperation for this blog. so if im not ranting about the treacheries of this life, it doesnt matter because nobody is reading this anyway so i might as well save myself some sanity and fuck 'em and rant, rant, rant and rant some fucking more. it makes me feel temporarily sane for putting my words out there for by chance someone with just as much time as i doso happenstansly pass by and read my thoughts and peer into my heart. i feel better.......ok.....there it.....ohp lost it. now i can go back to sulking.
c u later motherfuckers!!!!

2006-06-18T21:07:00.000-04:00

so on wednesday evening my freind morris and his freind and myself went to the We Are Scientists and Arctic Monkeys show at Roseland. We didn't have one ticket but we went to see if we could scalp because even like 3 weeks before the show the show was already sold out so we really didn't have a choice. So we get there and were looking around for tickets and these fuckin guys seriously want to sell these tickets for twice the amnt theyr worth they seriously wanted to sell these tickets for $75.00 when at face value theyr $25.00. we were sooo pissed then there was this lady just looking to just giveaway her mezanine ticket we were stunned we were sooo stoked b/c noone just gives away a ticket and especially a vip ticket and then we were down to 2 tickets and we were scrounging but ended up finding tickets like 20 minutes before the show.

We Are Scientists.........

We Are Idiots........

that guy was seriously like in his late 30's going on 40's, mr. squaresville kept putting his hand on his hips and gave u no room to stand he was in morris's way so i proceeded to give him some of his own medicine and put my hands on my hips so i was in his way...........

im trying to load up more pics from the concert but blogger isnt letting me so there will be more pics coming up!!!!

after the show we went to get fries from the french fry place on 2nd ave bet 7th and st.marks and off to home we went.

on thursday i went to marcs to just watch tv bec he had a long ass day and i had a long week bec i think i pretty much went out every nite except for thursday nite so i stayed in.

Friday me and sarah went to willyburg to sell some stuff to buffalo exchange and did some vintage shopping and had lunch at this cute outdoor cafe called fabians on bedford and n5th.

Saturday night i went to taj on 21st bet 5th and 6th and got a little tipsy and got my dance on!!!!

happy fathers day!!!!

well well.....so we meet again old freind!!!

2006-06-07T01:12:00.000-04:00

On saturday night i went to c Wolfmother at Webster Hall. It was probably one fo the best shows ive been to this past year. They are so awesome live and tehy have such stage presence. we were front and center the entire show it was fuckin badass!!! there were these 4 juiced up dudes on 'roids fersure trying to force a mosh in teh last 20 minutes of the show and it was so annoying because everyone was in good spirits and enjoying the show when these fuckheads ruined it by squashing everyone who ddnt partake in the pit and gettign pushed and shoved. This isnt some post hardcore band, how do u fuckin mosh to physcedelic music. have u seen anyone moshing to zeppelin?.....yea i ddnt think so. fuckin juicers!!!

These Aussies know how to rock.......

my <3........

My freind Eli and his crazy guns.......

we're camera whores........

on the train....... on the love train??(ipod commercial)

after teh concert we went to get some comida mejicano at chipotle and hopped on a train via brooklyn to a house party where booze and herb were flowing. My kind of party!!! i ddnt realize that party cups (u knw the red ones at every party) were 16 oz. so i had 3 cups of mixed drinks. thats equivalent to 5 mixed drinks in a club/bar. i was trashed so much so that for twenty minutes my butt met the bathroom floor.

The next day i was really really hungover but nothign a little comfort food and a walk around town couldnt cure. Gd i love this city!!!! That night i went for dinner with Sarah to Chai. A thai place in willieburg.

look at the stars look how they shine for youuuuu.......

2006-04-03T19:49:00.000-04:00

ive been laggin on the posts i knw but ive been soo busy with....um....life i have no time, that and im lazy as all hell. but this weekend was absolutely amazing. i had an awesome weekend, not because anything special happened, but i don't know i guess it was in the air...literally...the weather was soo amazing and lifted everyones spirits from dull and gray to sunny and chipper.
first off i want to talk about last monday....okay so im sitting at home totally vegging out, zombielike watching this really creepy doc. on the sundance channel looking like a mess after school when i hear this knock on my door, im thinking ooh crap what does this crazy old hag from downstairs want???!!!! when i open the door to my utter shock and horror it was marc. im like wat the hell r u doing here?? not realizing who it was only after 2 minutes did it hit me
so hes like go get dressed go get ready ive been trying to call u for an hour i called a million times c'mon move your ass.....ur going to c coldplay" i was shocked i was soo amazed at his sponteniety and cuteness. it didnt hit me until we were on our way that i was going to c coldplay. still shocked and amazed!!! anyways the concert was awesome The Verve played......yes they are still together.....yes they played bittersweet symphony .....and.....yes they kicked ass, coldplay was awesome. at first we got there and we were sitting in our seats and they totally sucked we could barely see the stage it was terrible but by the end of the verve's set we got up and sat ourselves right on top of chris martins head. The whole section infront of us was all a bunch of 16 year olds spliffing getting fuckin wasted tons of beers and hooking up they would not chill out for the duration of the concert it was insane!!!!

cuz they were all yellow...... hazy eyes.......random pictures from other times......

more pics coming up!!!!!!

Urban hippies + 30 years - protests= hipsters

2006-04-03T17:17:00.000-04:00

i know i just posted a similar post to this but its uncanny how history is recycled. i was flipping through a book called simply "Hippie" and the resemblance of the times just amazes me. so were going through a time that is very similar to that of the 70's. war, drugs, sex and rock n' roll.
ive categorized todays hippies
theres the granola eating yoga fitness nutritionist hippie right
then you got your stoner hippies, that still wear tye dyed shirts and birks and would still follow the "dead" or phish if given the slightest bit of opportunity
then you got ur scenester hippies, that are hippies by default because spliffs beer lsd rock vegetarianism homosexuality and bisexuality is the standard

EXAAAACTLY!!!!!

Dazed and Confused

2006-02-27T21:53:00.000-05:00

yess absolutely!!!! i dreamt of a time where long haired men and bell bottomed women roamed the earth. A time of haze swept the nation and a sound of nostalgic guitars and angry drums anthemized the voice of the people. strange!!!! doesn't sound all that different from today!!!
See i don't knw if im late or if im early, probably finding out something soo many people already knw but The Black Keys fuckin kick major ass. Cuz i was watching subteranean and they played 10 am automatic and i dnt knw how old that video is but it gave me incentive to download their stuff and im hooked. Ive listened to them by marc's but never gave them credit. I predict a wave of 70's rock comin back!!!! mark my words!!!!
that is all
no point
the end
Update: was i right or was i right (i.e. WOLFMOTHER)!!!!

As I whisper in your ear "I want to Fuckn' Tear You Apart"

2006-02-16T11:31:00.000-05:00

She Wants Revenge is like totally the new Interpol!!!!
Listen here---> shewantsrevenge

The lead singers voice sounds unoriginally like the lead singer from Interpol but that doesnt take away from theyr overall sound. Its a bit dancy a bit sulky and just the way i like it.
reco's- Monologue
- Out of Control
- Red Flags and Long Nights
- Tear You A.....aaaahhh fuck it theyr all fuckn good!!!!
Download them now....i say!!!!!

There are a million ways ...to be cruel!!!!

2006-01-27T20:13:00.000-05:00

so last i left you guys it was saturday and i was about to start working on the tradeshow and stuff..... ok soo staurday night i couldnt really do anything crazy becasue i had to be in at the javits center at 8 so me marc and his freind eli went to a couple of bars in the slope and it turned out to be pretty nasty out too, it was snowing and too flippin cold so it was good we stayed local. anyways the tradeshow went great!!!! it was a lot of fun but tons of work to be done so it wasnt all fun and games but my team leader liked me soo much that shes asked for me to come to vegas so well c wat happens with that. but on tuesday night they had this party at Home and Guest House and it was fun, i hated the crowd torwards the end when i was leaving but thats because all the "scene" people went to Cain. i hate swanky places!!! Thursday evening i hung out by marcs b/c damit i missed his silly ass and he was going away to flippin sundance park city utah on saturday nite like at 4 am so i knw that thursday would probably be the onlytime we could really be alone.We watched part of Garden State and u knw wat i realized----> the part in teh first 5 minutes of teh movie where he walks out into the swanky "LA" resturaunt so he can waiter some "young hip" socialites, that scene was filmed in flippin SEA in Flippin Williamsburg Brooklyn<----i find that piece of information absolutely fascintaing dont ask me why!!! So come saturday i was pretty bummed and upset b/c my night out was gonna get cut real short and also that he told me that teh night before he got excruciatinly drunk and messed up and i was jealous as all hell and suspicious if a/t happened but towards the end of the night he reassured me that he liked my paranoid ass too much to do s/t stupid. so we ended up meeting his two freinds at barcade then went to sea for some chew-ums and now hes all clingy too!!! Sunday i had excruciatingly amazing day!!! it started out with breakfast with my two partners in disaster crime, margo and sarah and then we were gonna drive out to some mall in flippin long island rite, okay so a couple of exits on the highway and teh car is messed up again and before we know it were in flippin howard beach, Queens???mfwtf??? so were stuck there waiting for the car to cool down and waiting for it to be drivable. when we finally got back home we swapped into another car and had a flippin good time on teh road trip to the mall in long island. when we got back i went for dinner with margo and later a sesh at her boyfreinds house accompanied by some Family Guy!!!Thats how we roll!!! (it was a good bad day). That Tuesday me and Margo went to the OKGO show at Northsix.

It was a flippin'good show. I luv little seedy basement looking venues. its so much more intimate. Apollo Sunshine and Controller. Controller opened. Apollo sunshine consists of a trio, that has a taste to play any instrument known to music. Yess even those little tiny guitars which i think are called yukelaylies but im not sure (about the spelling or the instrument). -
The lead singer, whose nickname we named Rainbrow Brite, because he had red hair yellow shirts and a red vest and a rainbow guitar sash around his neck, hence Rainbrow Brite, was definitly on something but it ddnt affect theway the crowd responded tho their music. Theyr talented theres no denying that!!! Controller. Controller had the ever so raging Dance rock with a hint of acid blues in their sound.

They had a very reminiscent sound and look to Morningwood. I think it was mostly the lead singer who reminded me of Chantall Claret with her dancing and voice, where every once and while she would roar like she would. Her dancing was definitly an inspiration to get people dancing. As soon as she started people followed. I was one of them!!! The drummer when they opened up their first song, for some reason wore a tiger ski hat with holes over the eyes. I have no idea what that had to do with anything but it was interesting to see him rip it off his face by the second song because he was gasping for air!!!

OKGO's performance was....well i think the pics tell it all.....

...need i say more???
im usually not a groupie and all but when me and Margo were standingby the stage waiting for Apollo Sunshine's set to be over Margo looks behind her and she notices this realy really cute guy and shes like "wawaweewah that guy's hot!!!" im like "heck yess!!!" so then i realize that its the lead singer of OKGO and i tell margo and she didnt believe me and then they come on stage and me and margo were like omg hes so flippin hott. ok that really had no point i just felt like venting my groupie moment of the night....oh but it doesnt end there... dressed in snazzy outfits lookin all spiffy they put up a really good set and when they played their latest hit "Do what you want" everyone, i mean everyone was on their feet dancing.
And for their encore song they cleared the stage of any instruments so they could....get this....dance!!! They completely re-enacted their dance from their "Million ways" video. It was flippin' Awesome!!!
On the way back home, i swear i saw this

in like 5million places in the vicinity of 2 blocks. Val Kilmer??? MFWTF???

and then i saw this

if you cant tell what it is, its a hazard cone (more like a keg than a cone rather)upside a wall all lit up. I don't know if it was vandalism, art or just sheer boredome, but for some reason i like the idiocy of its state!!!

Update: As posted by Cityrag.blogs.com, Val kilmer is a band from canada that used to tag all over montreal and somehow migrated to willyburg!!! interesting!!!!

Will you bite the hand that feeds you???

2006-01-14T15:25:00.000-05:00

so its been a while since ive blogged and partially because not much has been going on or too much has been going on. since my last blog ive been kind of busy, with xfering schools, with my new "boyfreind"(wow cant get used to that), with social activities. So Tuesday night i went to SEA with Sarah, i popped her Sea cherry and shes now in love and clingy. Thursday night i went out to a bunch of bars in Williamsburg with Marc and his freind Josh. I think(b/c i cant rem) we went to the alligator lounge wich is AMAYYZING because with every beer or alchaholic bevereage u buy, u get a pie of brick oven pizza FREE!!! Who sed theres nothinf Free in this life. They must have not visited the Alligator Lounge. I luv williamsburg, then to Barcade we went. That saturday night was pretty much low key, everyone was either laying low or away on vacation so me and marc hit up some bars in where else but....billyburg.We cant seem to get enough of it. So strange!!! On sunday i had this interview in the meatpacking district to meet with the organizers of Project Fashion Tradeshow. They needed staff for the show. I figured its a temp job and it pays sick. i did great in the interview and they liked me i could tell just because of the feedback i was getting but ive had it happen to me where i blew the roof off the interview and that got me nowhere(let alone a frkn call back, assholes) anyways i figured watvr worst comes to worst i dnt get it because ive gotten so used to the fact of rejection that i dnt care anymore. Wow this industry is ruthless. That night me and a bunch of my girlfreinds took out one of my freinds whose getting married,(no joke she has a sugar daddy, wouldnt u? dnt answer that)to a stripping lesson. It was raunchy, it was mortifying it was educational. basically not for me. Ill wing it when i need to i dnt need no stripping lesson. then we went for some dinner.
Monday i went over to marcs place late afternoon and we were just hangin out not sure wat we should do so like an hour later we went to get some dinner at this veggie place in boerum hill then to Tea lounge and he was supposed to swing by his freinds place like at 10 but his freind canceled so he wanted to go out(and spend more time with me, sorry im being annoying)so we ended up going to the movies (to see matchpoint, which is a 2 thumbs up in my book) and then for some late night eats accompanied by a late sesh back in his place. It was probably one of the best days ive had in a seriously looong ass time. Tuesday i was really worn out from the day before that i stayed in. Wednesday was my freind(that we took to the stripping lesson's) wedding. it was definitly a good time, anywhere that has an open bar like that is a good time. So during the day i sent an e-mail to one of the organizers in the tradeshow and asked wat the deal was because they said they would contact me to let me know about the response on monday or tuesday and i havent heard from them yet so i sent over an email and i ddnt get a chance to check my email so laaate wednesday night/early thursday morning i checked my email and it turns out that I FLIPPIN' GOT THE JOB!!!! woo woo!!! granted its a temp job, im hoping to make connection and see where this leads if not it looks great on a resume. so i was excited i couldnt sleep. Thursday night marc's freind was promoting at Quo and he wanted us to come by so we finally did after ages of saying we would and never did. It was a shite start of a night because politics at the door with some freinds but when his freind got a complimentry bottle of vodka and a table thats when the fun started but it was over before i knw it because we had to leave because i had to be up at 7 to be in the city at 9 for a STAFF meeting. so there i was excruciatingly drunk and my b/f taking care of me stumbling all over the place, but its all good because he said i was "alot of fun". At some point in the night i asked him if he "fenagled his bagel" wtf??? hahaha So there i was friday morning awake at 7 with only 3 hours of sleep under my belt looking at myself with the clothes that i ahd on teh night before feeling like shite but not b/c of a hangover but b/c i must have gotten sick walking around without a jacket. After the meeting i couldnt wait to get home and just sleep, so thats exactly wat i did!!!! i luuv dark and gloomy saturdays, this way i dnt feel like i missing out on a gorgous day, because all i do on saturdays is sleep in watch tv and bum. well see wat tonight brings!!!!
as far as tv goes, i got to see the new season of Meet the Barkers and i dnt knw wat but something about a mohawked tattooed pierced punk rocker's lush home life is appealing. The baby is just too cute though!!! A new show called "My Own" on MTV during the late afternoon is probably the stupidest shittiest show ever created it blows next room raiders and made out of the flippin' water. It blows really big dongers, is wat it blows!!!! whos the stupid re re that created that show, i want to kill'im. I havent gotten the chance to catch up on my OC fix especially sincxe after hiatus but i just read today that Marissa's sister(????) is gonna re-emerge in the show coming back form boarding school. Remember when i blogged about where the flippin' a was the sister, well then, i got my answer. Whose been reading my blog?? huh? huh? Its like someone listened and granted my wish. haha its awesome!!! well that show is airing next week , u knw im hitting that shit. When is the new N shows coming back, i need my N fix now!!! i want me some freakn OGrady already!!! im feindin maaan!!!! As far as celeb gossip, wtf??? lindsay and kate moss bffs??? o please the only thing those two have in common is the coke being hooved up their noses. granted kate still parties like shes still 19 LL does not need to be hangin out with someone whose comeback was based on a drug a controversy and is wanted in another country!!! WTF??? she wants to be taken seriously as an actress, she needs to get her shite together.
im ramblin'
c yaz on the flipside!!!!

2006-01-03T23:15:00.000-05:00

So it hasnt been a festive holiday weekend. I had a bunch of invites to go to a bunch of house parties but no partner in drinking crime and just wasn't into it this year, i don't know y. My freind Andrew told me to come out with him and his freinds to this party at Southpaw but i ddnt knw i was supposed to get tickets beforehand so basically i just stayed home. Thursday night last week i made dinner (pasta primavera) for my freind sarah because yea im talented like that. Me and the kitchen r bff's. so then after dinner my freind jack calls me and invites me to go to his bar that he goes every week with his freind Mike. I also got a call from Marc earlier that night and this time he was sober. It was short cute and to the point.
Saturday night didnt do anythign. Watched New Years on MTV and for thte first time in a long time i wasnt jealous that i wasnt anywhere other than where i was for new years. I was watching and it seemed so distant like eh watver its overrated anyways. Besides for me its new years eve every saturday night so it doesn matter.Marc called me on saturday night before his flight to wish me a happy new years (wat a babe!!!) Sunday didnt do much but stay home and slum around. Went to get a haircut and that was pretty much it. Come monday i was soo slummed out that i needed to get out and just breathe so i went to canal street to see if they have this skull silk head scarf that im tracking down like it was a wildebeast and it was the only animal alive to eat. I was so bummed that i couldnt find it. Where Are You my love??? I want you i need you oh baby oh baby!!!! If anyone knows of its whereabouts contact me STAT!!!! Anyways i figured it was a good chance to just get some air and run and errand or two. Then i met up with my freind Margo for some dinner and later went to catch Munich with Marc and to get some hot chocolate after, in which he found it in himself to ask me to make things official(wadya think i sed) hells mothertruckin' yea is wat i sed. But aside from that Munich was pretty damn good, i don't knw why i heard bad reviews about it from some people who went to see it. I heard that Spielberg wanted to make the Israelis look like savages but that was not the case at all. The movie in itself was impartial and i think he did a good job depicting it the way it most porbably was considering that there is some unknown intellegence not give out by the Mosad and not known by some big time Hollywood producer, yeah he has connections but he doesnt have that great of connections. Im just hoping for the sake of his religoun and "people" his message was to show the world that its not possible to run a country by poeple who themselves are run and governed by a terrorist group??? and that there are so many countries that can house their arab frenemies but the jews, dont have not one place on this world that they can call their own. Why is it that the Palestinians who were living in this untouched land, living as if it was still ancient times not bothered to make it their own but when the zionists came and made it theirs and claimed it Israel after WWII did they wake up and realize they wanted it. Its not land they want anymore its blood, do u think that if heaven forbid came a point that israel was claimed palestine again do u think they would stop the killing, i dont think so becaus ethey want to see jewish blood being spilled, but this is just a sour topic and its an endless cycle and not me or you can even make a mark on this growing daily problem. Well in any event the movie gets people thinking and i do hope it gets people thinking for the good of Israel because it is truly a beatiful country and its uniqueness doesn't exist anywhere in the world and it will become nomad land when hell feezes over.On that note i bid you farewell!!!
The Soshe says: "Frayerim afpaam lo mishtanim rak mitchalfim"
Translation: poeple who are taken for granted dont change they just get swapped

Here Today, Gone Tomorow!!!!!

2005-12-24T00:52:00.000-05:00

So amid all the holiday fuss, ive been kind of standing on the outside looking in, not only b/c i dnt celebrate christmas but also because i aint getting shit for nobody!!! Ive never really gotten anything for hanukka from my parents and my freinds- yeah im lucky if i get anything for my birthday (but don't shed a tear just yet)Karmas a bitch, whether im the one getting Karma-ised or the other person is. Usually i return the gesture if initiated, if not,well then i dnt. In any event looking at all the mayhem that was the STRIKE in NYC this past week and the holiday shopping, it got me thinking wheres the sense of values??? Maybe values isnt the word but i mean its like ok put it into perspective; right now the world is standing very fragile on many issues. Each country with its own problems. Africa has aids, Argentina has famine, Eastern Eastern Europe and China have to deal with dictatorship, Israel has its hands full with terrorist groups on alarm every single fucking day and its prime minister is the equivalent of "Good" ol' Dubya making decisions that will forever haunt his afterlife and here is America in the midst of war overseas with its inhabitants in a holiday panic of shopping and eating. With Union workers oh so worried about their "really important" 10% raise, when in fact New York budget is at a low, poeple with computer jobs from 9-5 dont get as much as they do a year (they get 40-60,000 dollars a year + major benefits going from paid vacations and sick days to medical insurance)and theyr complaining. Do they know how hard it is to get a job that pays that well with full benefits? And they want a fucking 10% raise. do u know whose gonna have to pay for their raises in the end? Me and you, thats who. So when u think of it that way its like "Do they really deserve to get a raise?" "Should we really be spending so much money on excessive gifts and expensive clothes?" Is it morally right to be this selfish when these things are happening around me? You know what the truth is i don't know because i can sit here and bitch and moan about whats wrong in the world today but really when it comes down to it i cant change anything. I wont get off my ass and make a stand. So who am i to talk, but at least i can live with myself knowing that i have thought about how messed up and how flawed we all are. and how our country continues to exist in an "were invincible and noone can stop us now" sort of way and how little the public really knows about what were informed in the media. Are we really living under "BIG BROTHER"? How much of whats being told is really true? and why do they keep us so dumb? They comfort us and shower us with ideals of Get married procreate consume consume consume!!! and all is well. and that should keep us from asking questions. Digging deep into the scum that really control this country, whilst the "FAT MAN" sit pretty watching from afar letting all his other "FAT FRIENDS" enjoy the fruit that is made from the toils of the drones down beneath them. All for one and fuck everyone else is the leading message from our leader of the "FREE WORLD" as we so loosely use the term. Are we really free??
Think about that for a while and then re-evaluate your values on life!!!!

O ok WOW i have no idea where that came from, maybe something that i havent had a chance to express and combusted, well in any event back to our regularly scheduled program....
So this week was quite interesting i must say.
On tuesday i had a few errands to run but went to marc's to say bye b/c he sed he was going to be home packing and getting shit together all day because he had to be in the airport at 7 so he asked me to come bya nd visit during the day, i sed hell yea!!! so we hung out for a little bit before he left (and i miss him like mad) and
Wednesday night i went to hang out by my freinds new apartment in williamsburg(flippin' sweet pad he has, holy crap, im dying jealous) we went out to some by bar down the street and came back to his place for a little bit.
Thursday night i had a "freind's" engagement party but shes one of those people that u cant tell is being nice to u because shes fake or because she likes you so i evaluated how much i really wanted to go mingle with people i so dearly "love" because hmm guess what???.... im socially awkward!!! and decided fuck 'em and went for dinner with Sarah at a sushi place on 7th ave. When i got a call from none other than MR "RIGHT NOW" himself from abroad to tell me he's drizunk and that he missed me. Oh yess people he went there. He drunk dialed!!!! but nevertheless still appreciated. I heard that people who drunk dial, call the people that r in their thoughts constantly.
Aside from that t.v has been sucking asshole lately and nothing good has been on. Only thing that im enjoying right now is Project Runway. I keep missing th O.C. but theyr on hiatus right now and MTV needs to dish out some new shows. The Gauntlet is just not doing it for me. cant seem to sit through a show. What i am looking forward to is "Meet the Barkers" and "There and Back", "TNB" is looking quite enticing, how could you resist a show about a has been trying to make "it" again solo. and u know uve been wondering where have the Otown boys been. i know i was just last month(thats not a joke, i really was) so that is gonna make for some really good "Realiskankty" T.V.
While i wish i was in miami for new years im gonna be in ny trying to find somewhere to basque myself in the warm pleasure of alchaholic bliss. GBH's NYE Movida party is looking mighty fine but the most probably sold out over priced $100 ticket is just a tad over budget for my empty pocketed self. In any event i was invited to a house party in Jersey or i would say a club but anywhere i go in ny except for misshapes is gonna have a ticket asking price of 100 and beyond so i dnt think im headed to a club on nye but hey u never knw.

2005-12-14T18:19:00.000-05:00

So i know ive been lagging and its a little late to update on the weekend before last (12/08 - 12/11) but here goes anyway:
Thursday night me marc and his freind eli went to a local bar on 5th ave. in Park Slope. i forgot the name of it though but it was really chill and we shot back a few beers. Saturday night i went to Royal Oak Room with Marc again and a couple of his freinds(not the same ones from last week) and we got a banquet and everything this week because it was pretty empty when we walked in but when we were leaving the place filled up. I wasn't really into dancing because the music was like old school motown, cool, but not my groove although it was many others'. So we got out of there and i ended up going back to his place afterwards (chillax people, not for the whole night)because he owed me a game(video) but by the time we got there we were both so lazy we just watched some Family Guy and some Borat. He made me some tea (aawww!!!)because my throat was hurting and i was coughing up a lung, well i guess thats the least he could do since he gave me all that stuff.
Sunday morning my freind Barry asked me if i wanted to go get a bunch of coats and hand them out to a bunch of homeless people so i sed umm.. okay. Hes a generous guy, really, okay the deal is he found like a gazillion coats in this store in the manhattan mall for like 10 bucks or watvr so he wants to buy a bunch of coats and hand them out to homeless people because....theyr homeless duh!!! so me and our freind Andrew went to help him schlep his stupid bags. But it was for a really good cause i guess. See who need organizations when u have heart to heart charity. That night i went for dinner with my freind Margo , we had like one of those longs dinners where u just catch up, it was really cool, she really enjoyed herself. Iguess because she doesnt see me very often and also because shes been sick for the last couple of weeks so she doesnt really see anyone other than her boyfreind.
Monday night i met up with my freind Jack C., who i havent seen in ages(probably since the end of September) and figured we should catch up and watnot.
So on thursday night were supposed to hang out and get shitfaced (me n marc)because hes going away the week after to do some short films abroad and his freind sed he'd be able to hook him up with loads of drinks because hes promoting at some club or watvr. Well see wat happens. Were also supposed to be hanging out on saturday night but who knows wat the days will bring. Hopefully some wine and spirits!!! hehe

(12/15-12/18)So Thursday i ended up going out with Marc but we ddnt get shitfaced!!! The weather was having a "shit storm" (hehe get it!!! get it!!!)and was waay gross to feel like going out (although i always feel like i want to go out)it was kind of just a chill night. We ended up meeting up with his freinds and smoking hooka.

Saturday night we did in fact hangout and originally it was supposed to be me n him alone but his freind eli ended up coming out with us and we went to this bar in williamsburg called Barcade, which they were both in heaven because video games form the 80's rule but not when ur buzzed. I dnt knw wat the hell was in that fuckn chocalate stout (or watvr the name of the beer is) but it gave me the biggest buzz. Damn have i become that much of a lightweight or was i roofied? that def osmething to think about. (hmmm!!!)anywyas i played donkey kong and another game i forgot the name or the game actually, but in any event i failed miserably in both, not sure if it was the alchahol or me but yea it was a sad excuse for a challenge. After a strong beer a couple of games and some lounging around and a few sesh's we bolted with eli in tow and went a couple of blocks away to Royal Oak to persue our wild oats (heheh get it!!! get it!!!) and the highlight of my night was when the DJ played NIN's I want to FUCK you like an Animal(is that teh name of the song, im not usre) well it was great the crowd was banging on the floor with every bassline and synth sound and arms flailing crotches grinding and hair wildly swinging. It was flippin' sweet. Once i told him that this song was one of the songs on my "want to have sex to" soundtrack, he flipped out and wanted to "rape" me rite there b/c it was just too hott to handle. Ohh yess it was!!!Then the DJ killed the moment when she played "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas WTF???? (elk) After a daze of drunkeness and blurred out vision we bolted once again because Eli wasn't having a good time not picking up any girls, and i think he was just frustrated that he couldn't. afterwards we went back to marc's house and chilled out for a bit until i was out of my drunken phase.
Today i went to lunch with my freind Sarah at some rest. on the corner of lafayette and prince and we just window shopped.
I wanted to go to the Senses Fail Saves the Day and Hidden In Plain View at Warsaw in williamsburg so bad but by the time i got home and got in touch with margo i was liek aahh how bad do i really want to go but it was such a sweet package 3 great bands 1 great venue in brooklyn how awesome does it get. well i apparently didnt end up going because im soo tired.
The Soshe Says: "Pim Pam Poom"
Translation: Wham Bam Thank you Ma'am

Quick recap!!!!

2005-12-07T20:10:00.000-05:00

ok so remember last Saturday nite when i sed i was standing outside the bar that i was at and i met this guy who was already an aqcuaintace and he took my # well in guy time he called me on Thursday to tell me to come out with him and his freind for one of his freinds birthday. He sed that i should come out with some freinds and that it should be fun, so on saturday i was banking on paullette to come with me but she bailed and i was left standing alone with no hope, just kidding!! i figured wtvr if i cant find someone ill just go and hey im openminded worst comes to worst i have a shitty time. So we end up in a bar called Royal Oak room in Williamsburg on Union ave. and ended up having a great time, although the music could hvae been alittle better!!! Not what i would ahve expected froma williamsburg bar. When we walked in the music was good alittle bit of kinks a little bit of house a little bit of new wave some hip hop (elk) and by the time we were hammered the dj swapped and basically played a bunch of hip hop that wasnt so enjoyable, tsk tsk!!! but by that time i was hammered and it ddnt really matter because i was having a really good time with the guy, whose name is marc by the way.
Sunday afternoon i went with my freind Sarah to Quantum Leap for some brunch.
that was basically my chilled out weekend.
I think Sam is pretty much out of the picture because hes just so flaky. I mean he pretty much balances me out every other week. Like one week hell chill with me and
and teh next week is with his boys and prob other girls. Although we get along really well, we ahve the same humor, theres no sexual tension and thats kind of a big deal. And also if i dnt initiate a conversation we wouldnt make plans. I dnt need that, but im sure hell prob pop up again soon. I did speak to him this week online and i was asking him wat he did this past weekend and i basically had to wring it out of him but also i hate knowing jealous facts so its kind of a lose lose situation. It kind of goes without saying that i definitly hit it off with marc, we have things in common our convos r not shallow and materialistic, tehyr random, funny and political and theres some tension i aint gonna lie. but im probably getting way over my head, just liek i always do with a new guy. i jinx myslef all the time. Well in any event im really feelign shitty rite now and my head feels like it weighs 100 lbs and my chest feels like its going to cave in but he called me tonite and asked me if i wanted to join him and a freind for a local drink or a show or s/t so i sed hells yea b/c when do i ever pass up a good time, even when im feeling so shitty!!!!
The Soshe says: " Humor is the key to my heart"
Translation: Its true!!!

My American <3 belongs to thee!!!

2005-12-02T22:10:00.000-05:00

Ur new favorite band!!! Listen here---> myamericanheart.
-The process
- Don't sleep
are both my faves but the rest of their stuff is great too!!!

FETCH is like so Five Minutes ago!!!!

2005-11-30T23:59:00.000-05:00

O.k. so i have this lingo thats all my own and its words that just float right off my mouth and into the ears of listeners who partake in using this lingo to their own vocabulary. And it is not intentional or for any reason to be "HIP", it just happens..... so in order for my fellow readers to partake in my lingo i will be sharing the words and i will be adding every time something else comes up
It is for the verbally lazy:
Smetty- the adjective of being smelly and sweaty
Sentence: When i walked into the club there was soo many people, it was really SMETTY in there.
Crattitude- The verb of having a CRAPPY ATTITUDE
Sentence: Take ur CRATTITUDE and get the hell out of here!!!
Spazed-The act of being spaced out and spazzy
Sentence: Wow, im really SPAZED right now!!!
KP'S- ok so this one i gotta give a little background in the jewish communities there are sects and theres the ultra religous ones who wear black hats(the works) and theres the modern orthadox (who just wear kippas or yamulkas) and theres the not religous ones at all ( who are just "Jewish by Name")
so KP'S are KIPPA HEADS, u knw who they are they go to ur local coffee shop on a date but just get coffee or tea or they swarm the Upper East Side. Basically theyr dressed normally but just have a Kippa on. this way if u want to talk about 'em, theyll never knw!!!!
Sentence: So i was at starbucks and i was about to get a couch when the KP(single) and his date took my seat.
Lunner- The noun of Lunch and Dinner. U knw when u ddnt eat lunch and its like4, 5 or 6 and u ddnt have dinner yet, yup thats Lunner because u knw ur gonna grab something to eat after that.
Sentence: Hey, i ddnt eat lunch yet and its too late now u want to go for some LUNNER.
SESH- the act of being in a session. Usually in a smoking session (ciggies, pot what have u) but it could work for a conversation sesh or an eating sesh or make-out sesh, watvr.
Sentence: Me, Casey, Brad and Evan were in a SESH when the KP walked in the room and wanted to freeload.

Now u can totally use it, but dnt go telling it to the wrong ears u knw wat i mean( wink wink)
Now go and spread it like wild fire and keep on the look out for more words.
Honestly it was really so if i use these in my blogs its so ur not lost w/ confusion on wat im talking about. So there!!!

OH MY FLIPPIN' A

2005-11-30T21:12:00.000-05:00

Last night's Real World Reunion was a bowl and a half of sweet DRAMA!!! Those Austiners cant seem to keep their hate towards each other off air. I guess some people just get dramatic when theres cameras (cough nehamiah cough). I hate that C*cksucker. He pissed me off on the show, not so much the beginning but more like the last few episodes. Is it me or did anyone else find it very strange the way Wes came out and said that Johanna was his girlfreind. I mean why didn't he just say it str8 out. I mean he was like beating around the bush like "...oh my g/f doesnt like it when i talk to Wren..." hello y couldnt u say that my g/f Johanna!!! doesn't like it when i talk to Wren, Damn production probably told him to stretch it out, just like Danny and Melinda's engagment. She wasn't allowed to wear the ring because ppl would have gotten the hint, which by the way, the reunion was taped waaay before its air time because according to Melinda's myspace page (yea even the real worlders are myspacers) theyr already married. So for all u horny guys out there that thought they had a chance with Melinda (because she is one hotty)u dnt, not unless u want to get the living shits kicked out of u from Danny (because that Danny is one Jealous bitch).
In other news.....When i saw this--->popsugar<--- i was floored because he looks just soo damn hott.Who knew those Laguna Beach Kids (popsugar)had smoking sessions. Ok i did but i didnt think there was actual visual evidence of it. Wow that Stephen looks rape-worthy. I knw hes a two-timing douchebag but he is a HOTT two- timing douchebag. And Kristin is supposed to be hosting a show on UPN in January called Get the Party Started with the host from an entertainment show- i forget the name because frankly i dnt care.Its supposed to be like they throw a huge party for this person who totally deserves it, b/c of some sad reason like they cant afford it or they just dnt expect it or s/t like that. Sounds Lame but u knw im totally hitting UPN in January to watch.Speaking of UPN, i thought it was totally appropriate for Jayla to finally!!!! leave tonight on ANTM. Her picture was terrible and i don't knw y they where knocking Bre so much.She was first and was completely drowsy and she looked fabulous in her photos, not to mention she got all the Baliwood moves down pat!!!I think they were just trying to confuse the audience, i mean there was no competition between Jayla and Bre, it was soo clear who was going home, c'mon Tyra!!! Nice try!!! Dnt get me wrong though, i hate Bre i think shes totally conniving- well she kind of changed my mind when she made up with Nicole. I predict Bre is next up to go home and the bottom two r gonna be Nicole and Nik but hey u never knw, that tricky Tyra always has somethign up her sleeve. Check out fourfour for clip by clip recaps of the complete episode. If u cant wait for next Tuesday and u have a thing for sarcastic humor (like me).
Till Next Time the Soshe says
"Blow a Bitch on it!!!"
Translation: beats me!!!???

Shadowlands!!!

2005-11-29T11:19:00.000-05:00

Qiuck (and i mean quick)Recap of this weekend. Saturday night i went with paullette to a party in the FlatIron District we met up with Sam and his freind there, then we all kind of lost each other. As i was standing outside i was talkign to a bunch of ppl then i re-met an old aqcaintance and we kind of hit it off (things r a little when ur older)and he took my #, do u think hes gonna use, naah i highly doubt it. I just love it when guys find it in themselves to ask a girl her # and never use it. Sunday afternoon went for brunch with Sam at Quantum Leap in Noho and went window shopping and checked out Guitars for him. I took my camera with me on Saturday night but realized after the fact that i ddnt put the battery in, i left it in the charger (yess, because im soo smart)so i left it with paullette and then forgot to take it back therefore not being able to take pics on sunday.

Disaster +1 Part II

2005-11-27T03:51:00.000-05:00

Bare with me while i rant and take out my frustrations with my vulgarity and nonsensical words. Motherfuckin' cocksuckin fuckin piece of motherfuckin shit....
it was just a bad night, some parts were good over-all just bad.i try to b as open minded as possible but anger gets the best of me. Is it overzealousness or justice? is it right or is it wrong? Looking back at tonight, things could have gone better or they could have been worse, i just wish that at that moment in time things ddnt happen the way they did.And seizing the moment would have lead somewhere else which might in turn not have led me to be here, feeling the way im feeling right now. Im feeling hurt, upset,used and abused, angry, restless, uneasy, annoyed, fully conscience the list goes on... It doesn't matter what happened because it was petty. the only thing that does matter is that im feeling like things should have happened differently and they ddnt. Maybe im annoyed and frustrated because i want something and im stuck, in every aspect in life. Im just stuck in life. Not hot not cold not left not right not up not down not this or that u get the point. If that frustrates u then u could imagine how i feel. Im in a rut that i cant get out of. I want to make a step i do i really really do but i cant, it like im frozen my head and heart say 1 thing and my actions well the lack there of dnt do anything. I get sidetracked by momentary things that disguise themselves for that moment but they are based on lies so it ultimately leads me to blowouts of unhappiness. I tell myself it could be so much worse. Your life is not that bad but that doesnt settle it for me. It could def. be better, i tell myself. what i want is easy going stressless, nothing but good times, whatever it is just "easy lucky free". Its rediculous how my insecurities get the best of me and can just put a damper on my streak of unrealistic bliss. Someone said to me tonite in midst of conversation " Well ur just not that type of person that ppl just want to run and say 'Hiii', ur the person that ppl say hey wtas up and walk away to" if he only knew how true and how hurt i was. It something that ive noticed since high school. Its something that ive come to terms with but hearing it from him just made it real, not just somehting implanted in my insecure head. It sounds stupid, but its true, and im not the type to just be ok with it. Its one thing to come to terms with, its another to accept and understand. Ive done none of those things. The reason y this hurts so much is because, i hate not being liked, or not getting genuine reactions from people. Thats ultimately wat i want, just genuine reactions from genuine people. Is that so much to ask. This actually happened, i am not making this up: "Hey 'Soshe' wats up, wats going on..." " OMFG HEEYY (freind of Soshe)watttsss uuuppp i miss u when we hanging out bla bla bla" this happened 2 sec apart from each other. How blatant is that?? Its so transparent.
I'm just so raedy to move on with my life, move on with everything, Im ready for some change, i just need a boost.

New Playlists BITCHES!!!!!

2005-11-23T12:51:00.000-05:00

Mixtape 2:

1.Augustana- Hotel Roosevelt
2.Idlewild- Love steals us from lonliness
3.Gatsby's American Dream-Were not Orphans
4.Minus the Bear- Thanks for the killer game of crisco twister
5.My Morning Jacket- Off the Record
6.Bright Eyes- Easy Lucky Free
7.Brendan Bensen- Cold Hands
8.Nightmare of You- Thumbelina
9.Gatsbys American Dream- The Badlands
10.The Big Bang Theory
11.The Grates- Sukkafish
12.Minus the Bear-Women we haven't met yet
13.Nightmare of You- I want to be buried in Your Backyard
14.Depeche Mode- Precious
15.Minus the Bear- Absinthe Party at the Fly Honey Warehouse
16. Minus the Bear- Hey wanna throw up? Get Me Naked
17.Gatsby's American Dream- A mind of Metal Wheels

Mixtape 3:
(yea i know im repeating songs but this is teh refined and updated original)

1.The Cloud Room- Hey Now Now
2.Kaiser Cheifs- I predict a Riot
3.Stellastarr- Sweet Trouble Soul
4.Morningwood- Jetsetter
5.Death from Above 1979- Little Girl
6.Ladytron- Discotraxx
7.Morningwood- Nth Degree
8.The Go!Team- Ladyflash
9.Ladytron- Playgirl
10.Louis XIV- Gd Killed the Queen
11.Toni Basil- Hey Mickey (yes, that
Hey Mickey)
12.Nena- 99 Red Balloons
13.Sons and Daughters- Dance Me In
14.The Arcade Fire- Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)
15.Gorillaz- Dirty Harry
16.Panic! at the Disco- It's time to Dance
17.Panic! at the Disco- The only difference between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage
18.The audition- Dance Dance Revolution

Download these now, I say!!!!

Life or Something Like It!!!!

2005-11-16T12:01:00.000-05:00

I look at the world through a lens and realize the little things that we take for granted. Its those little things we see through a lens that make living this life worth living. It is the natural beauty and authenticity we fall in love with. It is the captured moment of pure bliss and unconventional normalcy. It is what is said at that moment in time with no words being vocalized. It is the story being told without anyone telling it. It is Truth.

Disaster + 2!!!!

2005-11-14T11:17:00.000-05:00

So.... i had this really crazy episode on Wednesday night. My freind Barry had this crazy idea to treck out to a yellowcard show at the Stone Pony in Asbury Park NJ. Yess, thats right kiddies... i said Jersey. He asked me like a month previous to the show and i sed yea watvr but as the days neared the show i was so bummed about going b/c i dnt even like yellowcard(not anymore at least) i mean i think the only reason y i even considered it was b/c acceptance was opening but i wasnt that big of a fan either. I'm such an idiot. Anyways so we treck out to Jersey for this show and were chilln having fun the show was really great. The Pink Spiders and Acceptance opened.
The pink spiders were okay, they had more attitude than theyr actual music. Pretty cocky for a bunch of nobodies, (well uknown band). Maybe they thouhgt theyr attitude might make up for what they lack in.... music. Ha you thought i was gonna say in bed. Didnt u?? Anyways Acceptance pretty much rocked the house. They were really good, even though i dnt knw alot of their stuff they sounded great. The lead singer drenched in wat seemed like sweat but im hoping was water looked so yummy in his wet attire. Yumm!!! Yellowcard was just a ball of all-american good old pg13 fun!!! Yayy!!!

On the way back home getting onto the staten island expressway the car we drove in was dieing in the middle of the highway so we pull over to the shoulder and we tried getting someone to pullover and jump us (well not us, the car, duh!!)so after 20 minutes in the freezing cold rain we finally got somebody and he jumped the car and we started driving after 10 minutes we started having problems again so we pulled over once again and ended up trying to boost the car twice no luck, we ended up waiting for a tow truck for 2 hours in the freezing cold rain. It was torture. If everything were going well i could have probably been home so early instead i got home at 4 am. and i had to be up in a couple of hours. Goes without saying i def ddnt go to school that next day.
Because of the previous nights events i ended up staying home on thursday night and caught the o.c just in time for its lat 20 minutes b/c im an idiot and forgot to get the first part. Reunion afterwards was sooo good. We finally found out who frkn dies. Frkn Sam!!! I can rest easy knowing she was the one who died. I thought for sure it was the hollywood girl(cant rem her name) but then i saw her getting interrogated and at the end of the show the detective finally shows us that Sam died. Saturday night i went out with (my) sam and a couple of freinds. We went to dinner at this LES place called Basso Est.
<--That drink was so frkn good. Its like a mojito only made with strawberries. Yumm!!! One piece of breded Goat cheese on a mountain of lettuce. One piece!!! On the way to the bar we were going to after dinner to meet up with a bunch of ppl we saw this bakery that had this in their window.

Its a camel cake with choclate splattered on its back and a ciggie in its mouth and a Happy Birthday card on its stomach.Promoting Cigarettes are we? Nothing says love like telling your loved one to smoke their life into a cancerous death.
And i stumbled upon a randomly placed, in a sea of nonsesical, nonlegible grafitti was this genius work.

So we got to M Bar on the LES and after a couple of raunchy little numbers and a few beers we scedaddled outta there. We made a late night junk run ( now i know why i dnt eat pop tarts, especially not toasted, because they suck) and went home. On sunday i was in Union Sq. and i was supposed to meet up with my freind Danny, (A.K.A. Bukake A.K.A. Bandit)but we kept missing each others calls so we ended up not meeting and it was really just a chill day. It was kind of depressing because the weather sucked.
Till next time; The Soshe says "He who cannot see, should not know"
meaning: what you don't know, wont hurt you.

Rando Factos!!!

2005-11-09T13:51:00.000-05:00

Ive been kind of beating around the bush for a while now about myweekdays, i dont really talk about them. I kind of avoid it like you would avoid getting hit by a train, you knw, but really they r just kind of boring. I just go to school and fill up the void with absolutely nothing therefore goes the explanation for my myspace page saying hobbies: slumming(amongst other things). But ive been looking for a job for a while now so thing have not been looking up, i was refrainign from sounding like a bum thats why i was avoiding it but yea thats my reality at this point. Can you say "DEPENDENT" it fucking sux. Theres nothing out there for me that im interested in.See my philosophy is like this u cant enjoy wat ur doing if you dont liek your job, so you gotta find s/t that best suits your personality so u can actually enjoy going to work in the a.m.. and being that i dont enjoy doing anything corporate because i aint no square just makes it so much harder and who knew that you needed soo many qualifications to be a fukn sales associate in a clothing store. What do u have to be a genius to figure out how to advise, fold and put away. I dont get it. And in the interviews everything is going well...right and you think omg they love me they def love me, ive got it in the bag, fuckn NOO. Not only do you not get the job you dont even get a fuckn call back. WTF???? Here you are talking about professionalism and polished and yada fuckn yada, n u cant call back n say i'm sorry your not wat were looking for because apparently u have to fit their criteria. and the funny thing is u go on craigslist like a week or two later and they have the another one of the same fuckn posting up, not good enough eh? i'll show u not good enough, when ill b styling for fuckn Rolling Stone. Fucking Bitches!!!!!! Now that i got that out of the way.... so .... Saturday night, me and my freind Paullette were heading out to a resturaunt in Williamsburg and had gotten a couple of invites to go to a party in the Flatiron District for my freinds bday. So me and Paullette ended up going to TacuTacu for dinner.

Its this Peruvian/Vietnamese Resturaunt. Dnt ask about the mix, i dnt get it but the food was really good and so frkn cheap too. Since were both veggies, and the menu ddnt really have anything that was vegan freindly, aside from the apps and salads, we decided to just get a bunch of apps and split that. We were so full, no main course for us, Thank you very much. Anyways we ended up meeting a freind of mine and her bro and his freinds and going to this party at happy valley. At first it kind of sucked because i didnt really want to be there but then we went upstairs and i was hanging out with Paullette's cousin who was also at the party with a huge entourage and we were hanging out and dancing and all that good stuff "Sober" after-party pics.......

Sunday afternoon, it was just very chill, i kind of did my own thing. I ended up in Union Square and went to the Virgin Mega Store there and checked out the new releases. Yes, I'm a freeloader!!! I checked out the new Depeche Mode album. Its like time never went by. It sounded exactly like it would have in the eighties. It was Great!!!! Later on i wound up in Washington Square to people watch because teh day was just absolutely gorgous i couldnt help myself. I caught a good seat facing the fountain and a view of "Fall".

As gorgous as it was that day u couldnt get away from the gloominess that is Winter. I was admiring the "foliage" when this strange old man started talking to this lady next to me and then he found out she was married when her husband came to her rescue so he moved on to me and then started up a conversation with me something about Bill Gates and donations and Africa and hunger, and that was my cue to get outta there. As i was walking away he found it in himself to ask for my number and i qoute "maybe i can get your number, i bet you got one of those cell phones, can i have ur cell phone number." Mind you he was prob between 60's- 70's and a little wacko. yea that was def ammusing.
On Monday was my mamma's bday so me n the fam went for our traditional b-day dinner in this little Italian Resturaunt close to home. Did the cake thing, did the cheer thing, did the family thing and thats the end of that!!!
Tuesday i was playing host to my cousin from out of town so we went downtown and shopped all day and then we split and i met up with Sam. We went for dinner at this sushi resturaunt in the Flatiron District. After dinner we went for a walk down through Bowery and took the train home together. I think i could have been a little more upbeat but i was too bombed and excruciatingly exhausted all the while still entertaining. dont ask me how i did it.

Flippin' Idiots!!!!

2005-11-05T17:21:00.000-05:00

So....where did i leave off? Thursday, my freind Rachel ( you know every Jewish girl has to have a freind with the name Rachel, it just comes with the territory) set up a little outing for another freind of ours for her birthday. All 10 of us got together and started the night out at Lucky Cheng's where the men are women and the women are women x 10. Miss Queenie(because i cant remember her name), the host, entertained with crude jokes and the only way an East Village Bar/ Resturaunt filled with drag queens can entertain, sang/lipsynched her diva heart out!! Later on there was a lap dance contest which included my birthday girl freind. The victim; a straight guy there with his girlfreind. The poor guy was just standing by the bar, drinking when Mis Queenie came over to him and gave him no choice but to participate. The girlfreind's face; not too happy. There were five contestant, four girls and one guy. And you know he was gay, with looks to match. they porceeded with the contest with my freind being first, and as they went on the more raunchier it got. Umberto, the gay contestant was last, he straddledd, he humped ( not really but u know wat i mean)he got dooowwn!!! Guess who won? Umberto, ofcourse!!! and the contestants were rewarded with shots of "pink pussies". After that entertaining event we went to get some birthday dinner at a morrocan place in the East Village. Guess who sat next to me all night? Sam!! We chilled we talked we laughed, it was cute. I realized that he has tendencies to get on my nerves though. This sux because every time i find a really good guy, i always find a way to sabatoge things. and then i cry about how shitty i get treated from other guys. Im such an Ass!!! Anyways, being that i went out on Thursday i missed the re-emergence of TheOc. So i caught up with it today. To my dismay i found out that i didnt miss much. Ryan trying to ruin a good thing by trying to runaway. Marissa crying about her life.Boohoo!!! Seth and Summer trying to be sneaky and trying to help their freinds. Don't get me wrong i love TheO.C. but after a while it starts to get kind of stale you knw! And where the hell is the fucking sister? Doesnt anyone want to knw what happened to the sister? i do! Supposedly Marissa has a sister, right? well if julie's in a dive motel and Marissa is staying at Summer's and Jimmy abandoned his family, again. where the hell is the stupid sister? Maybe she got abducted by aliens or better yet Jigsaw? or maybe she ran away like Kristin sister Hailey ( who wasnt there for her father's funeral??? wtf???) or maybe she was given up for adoption because they need to give Marissa all of the attention?? Yess thats it!!! My brain can finally rest!!! And since im blogging on entertainment
Heres more entertainment sleaze for your.....um....entertainment:
Ashlee Simpson gets drunk as a skunk and is headed for rehab!!!(perezhilton).
Just call it the Comeback!!! (junk-feud.) and for the other coke whore,
Mary Kate doesn't need no stinkin' books, shes got candy!!! (junk-feud.)
Nicole Richie eats something!!! Maybe!!! (socialitelife.) & (hollywoodrag.)
Enjoy!!!!

2005-11-03T01:57:00.000-05:00

(I know the pictures are a little cruddy but thats the best i could have done with a height of 5''5 and 3 of the tallest motherf*ckers in the room right infront of us)
The Party continued with gbh's After Party for the 'Team' at Guest House, which i couldnt make due to unfortunate circumstance i cant share with, although wish i could have. In any event 'Hump Day' is over and looking forward to another "great" weekend filled with nothings.

I like Your sleeves, Theyr Real Big!!!!

2005-11-03T00:38:00.000-05:00

Hey so ive been out of the loop for a bit. Quick update:
Its been a real chill week so far. Monday night stayed in to watch Laguna Beach, which by the way is so juicy because Jason is a scumbag.Does he think that he could get away with that shit. Not once not twice but three fuckn time holy cow! man u remind me of my exes. Hes not even that hott anyway! Jessica deserved everythign LC dished out and then some. Anyways back to my little reality series; Tuesday night met up with Jon, a freind of mine that have spoken to or hung out with in like 3 months. Wow time flies! so we met up went for some dinner at Cofee Shop on Union Sq. (enter Homer Simpson:Mmmm Veggie Cheeseburger yummm)and went over to the Virgin Megastore to check out the Vinyl section for his collection. Finally found the perfect french (bistro-esque)poster that ive been looking for.
Tonight i met up with my freind Sarah, went to get some grub
New York pizza, Nothing quite like it!!! Those things should come with their own zip code theyr that huge. Later we went to The Go! Team show at Webster Hall, it was hellava show!!!
Opening act The Grates were....um... Great!!! The lead singer was soo cute from her Hot Pink tights to her quircky dance moves made the set a whole of a lot better. Def gotta watch out for them. Second act Airborne Audio should have been airborne and jetted off the stage. How could i put this they were "clash of the Titans". Theyr sound was clash-y and just in general not good. Well at least not to my liking. The Go! Team was awesome, u just felt the energy from the bubbly lead singer to the Cute little asian girl playing the guitar, omg i luv her she was so cute!!! To the 3 little dancers in matching track suits who supplied back up vox and gymnastics onstage. They even got the downtown scenesters to shake their tailfeathers, yup even the guys!!!

Posing for Andy Warhol!!!!

2005-10-31T20:56:00.000-05:00

If youve been wondering what i've been doing for the past couple fo days ive been playing model. --------->Posing for Andy Warhol. Could i be the next edie sedgwick. psshh!!!! in my wildest dreams!!! Anyways back to the real world. I haven't been up to much, on saturday night i thought maybe sam would come to my rescue, not likely. Yea so there i was home, dreaming of a party that i wish i was at dressed up in a costume only fit for such an "emo"girl. Hot topic? Check please!! yea so i was pretty bummed i ddnt get to go out and dress up but wtvr. In other news, Sunday i met up with my freind sarah and margo and we went to Williamsburg/ Greenpoint to just chill and take in the downtown brooklyn scene. Nothing says scenery quite like the desolation of old abandoned factory buildings and rusty lofts. My kind of Nabe!!! Then we headed over to zen palate for some yummy veggie asian dishes. I highly recommend the sweet potatoe fries noone makes em better than zenpalate. After the oh-so yummy oh-so- cheap meal i headed back home. On my way back home i got a call from Sam and he wanted to meet up later in the night so we ended up meeting and went for some cofee/tea (him tea, me cofee) at "The Tea Lounge" and chatted up for a while when i realized i was exhausted and needed to get some sleep for my 6:45 wake up call. Yikes!!! Anyways till next time Zip it Up and Zip it Out!!!

Boredom Is Counter Revolutionary????

2005-10-30T00:44:00.000-04:00

Feeling kind of Bored. So i made the bestest ever "mixtape". Yayy!!! ok ill tell you y im bored. It's because im home on a saturday night wishing i could be out. Ok its actually the first saturday night im home in a while but still, can someone please explain to me why an attractive(im not conceited, but im not fugly thats for damn sure) 20 year old girl is home on a saturday night not by choice (ok maybe a little) instead of partying it up with the best of them? I still am trying to figure it out. I guess it has something to do with the fact that my "freinds" are pretty flaky. Why is it that when your in a relationship everyone else seems to be having such a great time being single and once your single everyone is frkn attached. Its a consipracy i tell ya!!! You would think that someone so young should have a bangin' social life, right?
Ok, so my friend Sam called me up earlier and was telling me he was going to this holloween party in Tribeca and he was going alone so then he asked me what i was doing i told him i was trying to figure out wat i was doing so then he tells me, GET THIS---- he would take me and he wants to hang out with me right, but doesnt want to be bound to me at the party, so its like if hes hangng out with other ppl at the party its not like he ditched me, which is cool because he was being honest but its lame too. Watvr so i told him i was cool with it so then he tells me find someone to go with and well chill at the party. So being the desperate party girl that i am tried finding a freind tahts not attached at teh hip to a beau and tried to set something up but that was a failure waiting to happen. Being that i had just made a change in my life and kind of ditched the "BUBBLE" i kind of lost my relationship with some freinds so im in this stuck situation where im not meeting new ppl like i should be and not in touch with old "freinds" so i dnt have that many options. Yea anyways Sam hadnt called back, i guess he wasnt all that interested in hanging out but watvr!!!
Anyways heres the "mixtape" i made although its not a tape and its not a mix just a list hehe

THE ULTIMATE DANCE MIXTAPE:
(In this exact order)

Gorrillaz- Dare
M.I.A.- Galang
Louis XIV- Finding Out that True Love is Blind
Kings of Leon- The Bucket
Sons and Daughters- Dance Me In
The Audition- Youve Made Us Conscious
Senses Fail- Rum is for Drinking not Burning
Depeche Mode- Enjoy the Silence
The Cure- If You Leave
Tears for Fears- Don't You Forget About Me
Nena- 99 Red Balloons
The Smiths- How Soon is Now
Kings of Leon- Molly's Chamber
Nightmare of You- I Want to Buried in Your Backyard
The Decemberists- Oceanside
Idlewild- Love Steals Us from Lonliness
Nightmare of You- Thumbelina
Louis XIV- All th Little Pieces
Madonna- Hung Up
Fallout Boy- Dance Dance

Yea so thats it for now- thats my playlist right now. Let me know what you think have any suggestion anything love to hear it.

Thanks

Feeling dissappointed once again!!!!

2005-10-29T18:14:00.000-04:00

Ok, my freind Barry (aahh fuck it,real name) last week was telling me like we should get dressed up this weekend and go out. i sed yea sounds fun and this whole time im thinking ok we mite have plans but ddint really discuss anyhting further. Now he tells me; Him [6:15 PM]: ill take pics Me [6:16 PM]: whree u going? Him [6:16 PM]: joshuia tree has a party Me [6:17 PM]: who u going wth?Him [6:17 PM]: noam and drew. WTF??? Thats not cool. WTVR gotta go find s/t to do tonite.

Welcome all Biiitttccchheessss!!!!!!

2005-10-29T16:27:00.000-04:00

Heyy Bitches!!!!

This is my first post and im really excited although my life is not all that exciting. I left my identity anonymous because theres nothing that goes unnoticed with the people that i knw. Although my identity will unravel as time goes on. i promise!!! However the people ill be talking about their names def are going to be disguised(im paranoid wat can i say). Unless i'm talking about celebs then who gives a fuck.I'll try to keep it as real as possible. Anyways about me: I just turned 20 this summer and im trying to find my place in this fuckn world. Its little old me aginst the world. Ever since high school ended, i dropped the jap-y attitude came down from my fantasy world and the "BUBBLE" opened up my eyes and learned a thing or two about other cultures. Granted I didnt have this life altaring experience to give me this blow to the head, but i might as well have with the changes ive made. I'm stuck living at home(for now) with big city dreams. I've mapped out my life without a path to start from. It's like this mirage that you know isnt there but it looks so real. I'm ready to get out and do my thing but scared to let go of my past. It's like this book that i just read called "Nevermind the Goldbergs". It talks about this Orthodox Jewish girl that listens to punk music and goes to concerts and shows and looks up to Ani DiFranco but still has her moral and jewish values. When i picked up the book and read the panel i was like this is my calling. Although im not orthodox- more like traditional and we dnt have the same values- b/c im alittle more secular than she is, like ill eat non-kosher food except for meat but im a veggie anyways, or ill fool around with guys but im still the big "V", were pretty much the same b/c shes ready for this life in the secular world but shes not ready to leave behind e/t shes been raised to be. Thats my only setback. That and the disapproval of my parents. I guess the reason why i wanted to post a blog was because i was tired of being alone in a packed room. I wanted to see if there was anyone else out there that feels the way i do. I'm tired of those lame people on myspace. Theyr always like "u wnt feel lonely anymore, not when ur with me", enter loser with 10 freinds all are pornstar looking girls with their tits hanging out of their shirts. Anyone out there with actual substance?????